First disadvantage to point out is an informal style of the letter.
The phrases such as “I am seriously put off” or “let’s resist this banana thing” are unacceptable for business writing and should be avoided (Business communication, p.358). It is often considered that emails as a communication channel should be more informal. However, it is better adhere to more proper phrasing. It is also important to properly address to an e-mail receiver.
Navarro neglected this rule by simply writing “hey”, which is disrespectful (Business communication, p.358).The email subject also deserves some portion of criticism. The words “Plastic-Wrapped Fruit Not for Us!” are both informal and, more importantly, uninformative (Business communication, p.358). If the message addressee is not aware of the issue with bananas he would hardly understand what the sender meant. However, a proper email subject is very important, because managers in any organizations are busy. They prioritize their time and tasks. If they cannot make a conclusion that it is important out of the email subject, it will be simply skipped.
Thus, email subject should be clear and informative. It should show a receiver that the email is important.The next consideration is wordiness and abundance of irrelevant facts. Navarro mentions that his daughter does not like plastic wraps, which is not relevant and takes attention away from the main topic. The letter also lacks formal structure: important facts such as date of meeting are hard to find in the text. It would be better if the writer would use more clear structure: what is the meeting agenda, why is it important, meeting details, etc. Writing a plan of message and setting its goal would help a writer to avoid these problems. Navarro also mentions that there will be some meeting on the matter; however, he does not mention place and time the meeting will happen. It is inconvenient for the addressee, because he needs to put an additional effort to learn details about the meeting. It is likely he will not bother and simply ignore the meeting.Navarro should also add his contact information and current position to the footer. When reader is looking for the contact information he automatically looks at footer. It is more convenient for readers and acceptable in business world to put all contact information there.Finally, the letter lacks facts and argumentation which should convince the reader to attend the conference. The writer could propose some data on to what extent plastic wraps damage environment, point out that environment friendly orientation would benefit the company brand. These facts would convince the receiver that the meeting is worth to visit.10.2 One of the main disadvantages of this written request is poor phrasing. The author uses phrases such as “challenging challenges” or “we do many things” which are unprofessional (p.359). As in the previous example, more formal style is needed.
Another disadvantage is wordiness and lack of specifics. The description of the company activities takes one paragraph, however it is hard …